# Essential Questions for Setting Boundaries and Overcoming People-Pleasing
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Chapter 1: Understanding People-Pleasing
Do you often find yourself agreeing to requests when you'd prefer to decline? Are you frequently prioritizing the needs of others over your own? If you answered yes, you might be experiencing the challenges of people-pleasing. This behavior can be incredibly draining and may lead to generalized anxiety and other health issues. In this article, I will introduce two pivotal questions that can assist you in establishing healthy boundaries.
Before delving into these boundary-setting questions, consider two important factors:
- What are your short-term and long-term goals?
- What are your current interests and needs?
Once you clarify these aspects, you can use the following questions whenever you're uncertain about a commitment:
- Will this decision support my goals?
- Is this choice aligned with my personal interests?
If both responses are "no," it’s likely not worth your time or energy. Conversely, if at least one answer is "yes," it may be beneficial to pursue that option.
This method of questioning is particularly useful for significant decisions. For minor requests without serious consequences, I often don’t apply this approach. However, when it comes to more substantial choices, like whether to accept a new work assignment, these questions can be instrumental in setting boundaries. They can also guide you through pivotal life decisions.
Consider keeping these questions handy, either written down or stored on your phone. This way, whenever you feel pressured to please others again, you can refer back to them to regain your focus.
Establishing boundaries can be challenging initially. Some individuals may not react positively when you assert a "no." It’s natural to feel uneasy about disappointing someone. However, it's important to communicate your boundaries clearly, concisely, and confidently. With practice, this process will become easier.
Remember, the habit of people-pleasing can lead to anxiety and various health complications over time. So, whenever you’re faced with a decision, reflect on these two (actually four) questions to help guide you toward healthier choices.
There are no right or wrong answers to these questions; they are merely tools to help you connect with your true desires and needs. I hope you find them useful!
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Feel free to share your strategies for overcoming people-pleasing tendencies in the comments below!
Chapter 2: Practical Strategies for Boundary Setting
In this video titled "How To Stop People Pleasing and Set Boundaries," the presenter discusses effective methods for overcoming the urge to please others and emphasizes the importance of self-care while setting boundaries.
Another valuable resource is the video "How to set boundaries and stop people-pleasing," which offers practical tips and insights to help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your life.