Chapter 1: The Roots of Intellectual FOMO

Recently, I have come to recognize that one of my most significant worries is the lack of time to read all the books on my list. In fact, it seems I won't even have enough time to delve into all the great works within a single genre, such as literary fiction or non-fiction. This realization feels disheartening, and I often find myself mourning this lost opportunity as I gaze at my bookshelf or power on my Kindle.

I envision myself on my deathbed, lamenting the countless books left unread, the films never viewed, and the paths not taken. It feels as if I am leaving behind a collection of orphans yearning to be engaged with while I busied myself with other pursuits.

This might seem a rather dramatic and somewhat grotesque perspective on the phenomenon of "missing out," which often brings a sense of despair or depression in facing the impossible.

I term this phenomenon "Intellectual FOMO," the anxiety of missing out on experiences that are eliminated by the act of choosing. It embodies the chaos and randomness of life, coupled with the nagging question of "what if." What if I had selected a different book, movie, option, partner, or path? Where might I be now if I had made other choices? To choose is to forge a destiny for both the selected and the selector.

Chapter 2: The Internal Struggle

The anxiety I feel does not stem from external events happening without my involvement; it is not about exclusion. Instead, it arises from an internal conflict, a self-imposed deprivation of multiple possible scenarios that lay before me, forcing me to select just one.

For instance, my cat passed away at the young age of five due to kidney failure. I chose him among his siblings solely because of his ginger color, my personal favorite. Had I picked the grey one, he might still be alive today. One could argue, "C'est la vie," but this is the nature of life—unpredictable and filled with uncertainty.

Perhaps I am overly fixated on these choices; maybe I struggle with confidence when it comes to making decisions, or perhaps I should embrace the chaos and carve my own path. Yet, it may also indicate a deeper issue—a struggle that transcends human comprehension. In a world where we are required to make countless decisions daily, surrounded by abundance, misinformation, and the barrage of social media, distinguishing between the chooser and the chosen becomes increasingly complex. They often appear to be one and the same.

Today, there may be more authors than readers. The speed at which books, eBooks, blogs, and posts are published is staggering. When I enter a bookstore, it takes me a solid 10 to 15 minutes to navigate to my desired section. The days when one could immerse themselves in a book and lose track of time are long gone. Whenever I pick up a book, I find myself counting the remaining pages, worrying about the countless unread books and the vast number of stories that may never be explored by me.

While I appreciate what I have chosen, I often question how much of it was truly my own decision versus what society, culture, the internet, and my family have imposed upon me without my awareness. Perhaps the notion of free will is merely an illusion, akin to the concept of self. The fear of missing out arises not from knowing who I am at this moment but from uncertainty about who I will become in the near future.

The first video, "What is FOMO Fear of Missing Out and how to address it with Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes," explores the psychological aspects of FOMO and offers strategies for managing it.

The second video, "FOMO - What It Is and How to Manage It," provides insights into the nature of FOMO and practical tips for coping with it in today's fast-paced world.

Chapter 3: The Dual Nature of Intellectual FOMO

I often feel torn between two worlds; I find comfort in living out alternative lives through characters like Ivan, Ismael, and Charles Swan. However, despite my earnest efforts to immerse myself in their narratives, I continuously struggle against the overwhelming pull of numerous distractions.

Intellectual FOMO has its pros and cons. On the one hand, it enables me to maintain a broad perspective on my choices and keeps my options open, fostering my growth as a generalist—despite my inclination towards specialization. I attribute much of my critical thinking skills to this broader outlook. On the other hand, it also breeds anxiety, making me yearn for more and preventing me from fully enjoying the paths I do select. It results in a self-imposed torment and a perpetual struggle with decision-making.

Nevertheless, life is fleeting. There is so much to experience, countless choices to make, and a plethora of opportunities that may be overlooked. Perhaps I should focus on the positives. Maybe I should retreat to my armchair by the fireplace, if only temporarily, and embrace a more mindful existence.