The Neuroscience Behind Change

Whenever we embark on a change, our brains engage in a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity, which allows them to adapt. Our habits stem from the architecture of our brains, particularly how neurons connect with one another.

To simplify, these neurons form networks that are specialized for various functions, depending on the brain region involved. Habits develop over time through consistent behaviors, serving as energy-saving mechanisms for the brain. Without these habits, every decision would require extensive thought and energy.

Although our brains are capable of change, certain behaviors become entrenched and challenging to modify.

1. Repetition

The simple fact is that repeated actions enhance our proficiency. Whether you're memorizing lines, mastering an instrument, or learning to drive, the more you practice, the better you get. Each engagement strengthens the corresponding neural pathways in the brain.

For instance, significant distinctions can be observed in the brains of novice versus expert pianists, particularly in regions associated with movement and sound. While genetics may play a role, practice undeniably shapes our development. The stronger the engagement, the more challenging it becomes to break free from that habit. Think of it like a rope: a single strand is easily broken, but as more strands intertwine, it becomes increasingly resistant.

As the renowned behavioral neuroscientist Donald Hebb stated, "Neurons that fire together, wire together." Many struggle to break free from established habits because we've reinforced those pathways for so long. Thus, change requires patience, as rewiring behaviors developed over years will not happen overnight.

2. Emotional Connections

The difficulty of change amplifies significantly when our habits are connected to emotional responses. For instance, people-pleasing often stems from fear, serving as a coping mechanism for expressing oneself. While this may provide temporary relief, it hinders personal growth in the long run.

Altering such habits involves more than simply ceasing the behavior; it requires addressing the underlying emotions, such as anxiety. Our brains instinctively seek to alleviate negative feelings, often reverting to familiar, albeit maladaptive, solutions. For example, if we habitually reach for ice cream when feeling down, our brains will prompt us to do the same in future moments of sadness.

The challenge lies in teaching our brains to seek healthier alternatives that may not yield immediate gratification. This is where emotional regulation becomes essential, as we learn to manage our feelings and create space for more beneficial actions.

3. Roots in Childhood

During the initial 25 years of our lives, our brains are in a constant state of development, with critical growth occurring in early childhood. The pre-frontal cortex, responsible for complex behaviors, matures later, around ages 25 to 30.

This developmental phase profoundly shapes our adult behaviors. For instance, a boy taught to suppress emotions will likely struggle to express himself later in life, as the neural pathways associated with emotional expression weaken. His ingrained habit becomes silence, as it's what his brain has always known.

Consequently, unlearning deeply rooted behaviors can be challenging, as they may have solidified over decades. This requires not only changing our actions but also dismantling long-standing habits that have become part of our identity.

Acknowledging that change necessitates significant effort is crucial. Support may be required, and setbacks are common, as personal growth is rarely a linear journey. It's essential to practice self-compassion, recognizing that many learned behaviors once served a purpose, even if they no longer do.

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