Chapter 1: The Weight of Masculinity

In Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea, the protagonist grapples with the complexities of aging and acceptance.

"Perhaps I should not have been a fisherman," he muses. "But that was the thing that I was born for."

His thoughts echo in the silence, reflecting a tumult of emotions directed towards the women in his life—be it his wife or daughter—revealing an inner turmoil. With strength waning and breath shallow, he finds himself caught in a web of curses that sound almost like a love song, a desperate attempt to cling to the last remnants of his masculine pride. It feels as if he has been upended, his dignity washed away like dirty bathwater over his bald head.

The struggle against aging, sickness, and mortality looms large. “I was a man. I was a man.” Yes, grandpa, father—indeed you still are, even as you face the inevitable decline.

As the fog of impending death envelops him, he recalls the times when he was vibrant. His father reminds him of his youth, yet his grandfather resisted help, even in his most vulnerable moments. When the weight of life becomes too much, he reflects on the societal expectation that a man should never become dependent. He remembers times when he might have uttered, “Just kill me if I can’t care for myself,” during moments of bravado or drunkenness, especially during his service in Iraq.

What does a man have left when he loses his strength? Is it merely an open window that steals away his pride?

This struggle brings to mind Hemingway himself. After winning the Nobel Prize, he faced a profound loss of purpose and pride. In his final years, he expressed a sentiment that resonates deeply: “If my mind doesn’t work anymore... I’m not trying to exist like a crushed lizard.”

As I witness my father’s decline, I too feel the strain on my own body, a testament to the toll life exacts. It’s hard to see a once-strong figure fade away, battling the indignities of old age, as death takes its toll on us all.

The fear of losing one's mind is a haunting specter. Writing has been my lifeline through tumultuous times—divorce, war, and isolation. It has always been the compass guiding me through dark woods towards light. Without the ability to write, life would seem unbearable, reduced to searching for discarded cigarettes and drowning sorrows.

Stepping outside, the storm has passed, leaving behind a heavy humidity that clings to me. I observe my body, a vessel that will eventually decay and return to dust.

With my grandfather’s hand resting on my shoulder, I realize how little he spoke. Now, I understand the weight of his silence, the burden of his thoughts. Growing older means accepting the inevitable decline, yet there is a certain dignity in that disrepair.

Looking at my scars, I see reflections of my journey—lips that once spoke Arabic, eyes that have witnessed the harshness of prison walls, and wrinkles that narrate my life’s story. In moments of fatigue, I envision myself aboard a ship, navigating towards new horizons. I gather my scars as reminders of what I can no longer do and offer them to the world as my legacy.

"'But man is not made for defeat,'" he proclaimed. "'A man can be destroyed but not defeated.'"

As I watch the old man return to the sea, I see him in the same spot, contemplating the vastness before him. Seagulls glide overhead, boats bob on the waves, and he remains still, reflecting on his past, the things he can no longer do, and the dreams that elude him.

Video Description: This video presents an analysis of Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea, focusing on its themes of aging, pride, and identity.

Chapter 2: The Essence of Identity

In this chapter, we delve deeper into the psychological aspects of identity as explored in Hemingway’s narrative.

Video Description: A comprehensive review of The Old Man and the Sea, discussing Hemingway's style and the profound themes within the text.

Roman Newell is diligently crafting his debut novel, 20XX, a piece of magical realism that navigates the intricacies of contemporary society amidst shifting norms and technological changes. Follow Roman's Substack to join the 20XX mailing list.