Section 1.1: A Heartfelt Encounter

Recently, I reached out to my parents during a visit from guests. Amidst the troubling news they shared, a ten-year-old named Olaf entered the room, eager to speak with me. Our bond is strong; to him, I’m someone who truly understands him, and he often expresses how much he enjoys our conversations.

Unfortunately, I was too preoccupied with my parents’ distressing revelations to engage with him right away. This left Olaf feeling hurt and neglected. When I finally had a moment to chat, he was no longer interested in talking to me. Shortly after, he used his mom's phone to send me a message that he would come to regret. After some time, he and his mother apologized, and everything was reconciled. I seized this moment to impart a valuable lesson to Olaf, which I later shared in an email.

We all experience moments of anger where we may say things we don’t truly mean. I wanted to remind everyone of the importance of pausing before letting words escape our lips. A word can be spoken in a second, but its impact can endure for a lifetime.

Dear Olaf,

On the day you left my parents, you sent me a message saying, “I hate you.” I was about to go to bed, and that was the last message I read before sleep took me. Your words cut deep, and I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. The following morning, I received another message from you expressing your regret. Your mother informed me that you wished to erase the hurtful message.

I want you to know that while your words stung, I have forgiven you, and my love for you remains unchanged. I understand that you are a kind-hearted young man learning to manage your emotions. This experience can serve as a reminder of how crucial it is to control our feelings.

You expressed regret about your message, wishing to delete it, but once it was sent, it was too late—I had already seen it. While you could remove it from your mother’s phone, you couldn’t erase it from my memory or my heart. Your words caused me pain that couldn’t be undone, and the best you could do was say, “I’m sorry.”

Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember my dear grandfather, with whom I shared a close bond. One chilly February evening, he asked for help with his fireplace while I was busy with my homework. Frustrated, I snapped at him, saying, “You’re bothering me! Can’t you see I’m busy?” Although I eventually assisted him, I carried my irritation into that moment.

Later that night, an ambulance took him to the hospital, and the next day, I learned he had passed away. I was overwhelmed with regret, wishing I had told him, “I love you,” instead of expressing annoyance. The chance to apologize slipped away, and the memory of that moment still haunts me more than 30 years later.

Olaf, I hope you will consider this the next time you are about to speak hurtful words. It’s easy to say them, but impossible to take them back. Remember, we don’t always have the opportunity to apologize, and not everyone will forgive us. Words have the potential to bear heavy consequences.

With love, Your Aunt Jan

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