A Rocker Chick's Quest: Finding Myself in Farming Adventures
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Chapter 1: The Search for Purpose
Where does a 57-year-old woman embarking on a new life chapter seek meaning and direction? With my children all grown and independent, I find myself at a loss for what I truly want. After decades of nurturing small, medium, and now large individuals, the "me" aspect of my existence has faded away.
Having devoted 23 years to raising three capable adults is undeniably a significant achievement, and I acknowledge that. However, as I reflect on this milestone, I am left pondering, "What comes next?" This contemplation is daunting, particularly as I face the reality of loss around me, amplifying my fear of mortality. I can't leave this world just yet—I feel as though I have yet to truly achieve anything meaningful. It’s as if my maternal instincts have taken a backseat, leaving me disoriented.
My therapist advises me to embrace this transitional period without cluttering it with distractions. She's right; in moments of stillness, a long-lost part of me surfaces, asking, “Do you remember me?” Unfortunately, I struggle to recognize that version of myself.
So how do I reconnect with her? Do we even share a common language? And what is it that she genuinely desires? (Cue the Spice Girls!)
To assist in this rediscovery, life coach Mel Robbins suggests listing the activities that make me feel calm, centered, and expansive. Here’s my list, in no specific order:
- Singing 80s rock ballads at the top of my lungs
- Engaging in meaningful conversations with friends
- Working out
- Writing
- Spending time with animals
Diving deeper, it’s clear that Poison isn't knocking on my door to replace Brett Michaels any time soon, even though I could totally pull that off.
I enjoy walking with my girlfriends several times each week, where we tackle everything from husbands seeking accolades for taking out the trash to navigating life without RBG. We deliberate over various paint colors for our homes and ponder why our dogs seem magnetically attracted to the lawns marked with “please be respectful” signs. Seriously, it’s like they have a sixth sense for these things!
On a few days each week, I jump on the Peloton, where a fabulous instructor encourages me to adjust my wig and straighten my posture while I work up a sweat. Love you, Cody!
And here I am, writing. This brings me to the final item on my list: animals.
My husband and I have recently moved to a place with ample land—an open field just waiting for some life. But what do I know about farm animals? Honestly, nothing at all.
Fortunately, my adventurous friend Brooke has just moved nearby and is starting her own farm. She texted me yesterday: “Want to go shopping for donkeys this weekend?”
Yes, that was a real text. I'm not in Silicon Valley anymore. My response? “Absolutely!”
While I plan to casually browse at the donkey store, Brooke is serious; she already has goats and piglets, and she might very well return home with donkeys this weekend.
I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy that she doesn’t suffer from the paralysis of analysis that often plagues me. If I even entertain the thought of a goat grazing in my field, my mind spirals into chaos:
“You’ll definitely harm any farm animal since you know nothing about their care. Larger animals roaming at night could pose a threat. You raised kids, not goats! You can’t spend too much time in the sun at your age. How will you even fit hay in your husband’s Tesla? What if they smell terrible? What if they bite you and you lose a finger? And so on.”
But this time, I'm pushing back against that negative inner voice. It’s time for my lost soul—once filled with youthful dreams of fun and freedom—to step back into the light.
Now, she imagines herself wearing sturdy work boots, a wide-brimmed hat, and sunscreen while blasting tunes from Boston, Foreigner, and Rush through her earbuds as she tackles the task of shoveling manure. Fifty-something and thriving!
Thus begins my journey. I’m off to shop for donkeys this weekend, though I won't be buying just yet—maybe I’ll start with the more manageable choice of chickens.
I’ll keep you updated.
Rocker chick farmer … signing off.
©? Holly Hunter Morley
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Chapter 2: Exploring the Farm Life
In this chapter, I’ll dive deeper into my adventures in farming, sharing insights and experiences as I navigate this new path.
In the video titled "ALL LOCATIONS of the lost DONKEYS! | Star Stable Updates," viewers can join me on my quest to understand donkeys better, exploring their habitats and needs.
Additionally, "The Repair Shop - Season 6 Episode 45" showcases the heartwarming stories of restoration and care, paralleling my own journey of rediscovery and nurturing.