Chapter 1: The Quest for Joy

Are you yearning for a more joyful existence? Feeling overwhelmed? What if the key to enjoyment was as simple as blowing paint across a canvas?

It’s easy to dismiss such suggestions when life feels unbearable. I remember being told repeatedly to "take care of yourself" during a challenging time while I cared for my husband, who was battling brain cancer. For months, medical support was minimal, and I found myself managing everything alone. Friends offered help, but the daily burden was solely mine.

As I navigated this, I often wondered how to follow the advice to care for myself when I was knee-deep in challenges. When life feels like an unending wave of difficulties, hearing someone suggest to "enjoy" can be infuriating. Yet, even the smallest actions can harbor the promise of happiness, even if we can’t seem to grasp it.

Consider a recent client I worked with: her home was a construction zone, her father was in poor health, and her dog needed medical attention. She was overwhelmed, yet the thought of taking just five minutes for herself felt impossible. “I’d feel guilty!” she insisted. Despite the pressure she faced, she struggled to allow herself a moment of respite.

If you’re finding it hard to enjoy life, it’s likely that significant challenges are weighing on you, whether you can articulate them or not. I truly empathize with your situation. Herman Hesse’s words resonate deeply with this yearning for solace:

“If you are now wondering where to look for consolation… [this] does not come to us from books, [God] lives within us… you will surely realize… this time you must not look to external sources… for enlightenment.”

Hesse implies that we must look within ourselves for healing and joy. Maria Popova beautifully describes Hesse as offering “kindred consolation for the transcendent traumas of living.”

In times of trauma, a lifeline can feel just out of reach. It’s often hard to accept soothing advice when we’re grappling with pain. It’s taken significant effort and emotional labor for me to arrive at a place where I can extend an invitation for you to seek more joy.

Chapter 2: The Power of Perspective

When we examine what hinders our enjoyment, we might assume it’s external factors. However, that’s an illusion. Joy is cultivated internally.

“Most of our suffering comes from our wrong perceptions.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Our discomfort often stems not from our circumstances, but from our interpretations of them. If we could eliminate the thoughts that cause us grief, we would simply exist in peace.

Now, what does the phrase “Unless you become as little children…” truly mean? This concept suggests that to access the essence of joy, we must embrace childlike wonder.

At a recent festival, I observed children fully immersed in their experiences. They were present in each moment, captivated by the music, the laughter, and the joy of simply being. These children didn’t analyze or worry; they were living in the now.

Take a moment to reflect: how much of your life do you spend actively participating in versus merely thinking about?

Often, we find ourselves focused on the tasks ahead or fretting about the past. But what if we could reclaim those moments and immerse ourselves fully in the present?

As I cared for my husband, we created joyous memories, singing silly songs and finding laughter in the small moments. These were opportunities to be deeply present and share love, despite the surrounding challenges.

Now, I encourage my clients to channel their inner child, free from adult worries and fears. This practice fosters joy and lightness in their lives.