1. Love (for Yourself)

Do you genuinely love yourself? It’s a challenging question that many may find uncomfortable to confront. The concept of self-love might not resonate with everyone, but it largely hinges on our understanding of love itself. St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit order, wisely remarked, “Love ought to manifest itself in deeds.”

What if we approached self-love as a practice, akin to being kind to ourselves? Philosopher Seneca, when asked about his journey toward wisdom, noted, “I have begun to be a friend to myself.” Reflect on this: how well do you treat yourself?

When evaluating whether someone loves you, it’s common to consider their consistent actions and how they treat you. Research indicates that certain practices enhance our well-being, such as adequate sleep, a nutritious diet, and regular exercise.

So, once again — how good of a friend are you to yourself? As the Buddha wisely stated, “If your compassion does not include yourself, then it is incomplete.” This holds true for love as well; without self-love, our capacity to love others remains limited.

This video, "Create Your Personal Love-Wisdom Practice," provides valuable insights on how to cultivate self-love effectively.

Section 1.1: The Courage to Love Others

In his concise book, Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person, Alain de Botton suggests that a worthwhile question for a dinner date might be: “And how are you mad?” He argues that we all have our own peculiarities, yet we often remain unaware of our neuroses.

Similarly, Thomas Merton, in his classic work No Man is an Island, emphasizes that to love sincerely, we must confront our fear of not being loved. He states that it’s essential to strip away our illusions about love and recognize our own lovability, despite our flaws.

This notion requires bravery and vulnerability, as articulated by C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves: “Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.” The only way to avoid heartache is to withhold love entirely, but in doing so, we merely imprison our hearts.

Section 1.2: Cultivating Love for Life

How can we foster a love for life even amid adversity? Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche grappled with this dilemma and proposed the idea of Amor Fati, or the love of one’s fate. He stated:

“My formula for greatness in a human being is Amor Fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.”

Embracing Amor Fati means accepting our past experiences—both good and bad—leading to a perspective of unconditional love for life. While it can be hard to accept, the past and future lie beyond our control; what truly matters is this moment, which invites us to respond with love.

Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, poignantly expresses this sentiment:

“You think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day; it’s the one day that is given to you today. It’s a gift, the only gift you have right now — and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.”

Thank you for reading; I hope you found something meaningful here. For further reflections or interviews, consider listening to our podcasts. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our free weekly email meditation, delivering timeless insights directly to your inbox.