Three Essential Lessons for the Boy I Once Was
Written on
Chapter 1: Embracing the Journey
The song “Ooh La La” by Faces evokes a wave of nostalgia, reminiscent of warm summer nights filled with the scent of pine trees. Its chorus lingers in my mind:
I wish I had the insights I have now
When I was younger
I wish I had the insights I have now
When I was stronger
If I could rewind time and impart wisdom to my younger self, I would distill it into a few crucial lessons. Here are my top three pieces of advice for young Nick (and anyone else interested):
- Don’t stress over romance
- Read and play as much as possible
- Strength lies behind vulnerability
Section 1.1: Don’t Stress Over Romance
As a boy, I often felt the pressure to be a ladies’ man, yearning for a girlfriend with the same intensity as Lloyd Christmas in "Dumb and Dumber." Navigating the world of girls was daunting, especially with my struggles with acne during middle school, which eroded my self-esteem and fueled anger. I remember the embarrassment of explaining my medication at summer camp, claiming I was on "crazy pills" rather than revealing the truth.
Heartbreak songs from artists like Matt Nathanson and the Goo Goo Dolls became my soundtrack. Whenever things got tough, I turned to Tom Petty's “You Don’t Know How It Feels.” My lack of success in romance weighed heavily on me, causing a lot of unshared stress.
In hindsight, this stress was unnecessary. Romance, at its essence, is a mix of excitement and mystery tied to love. I wish I could relive the innocent joy of AOL Instant Messenger or feel the flutter of knowing someone had a crush on me. Instead of worrying, I should have embraced being a boy learning to be a man, trusting that one day I’d understand the complexities of love.
So, take it easy on romance, young one. You're still figuring it all out. Focus on kindness and respect, know that you can’t control others, and invest time in learning about healthy relationships. The journey to true love is a long one, and that’s perfectly okay.
Section 1.2: Read and Play as Much as You Can
In my youth, I genuinely enjoyed reading. Roald Dahl captured my imagination, especially "The Witches." My mother would read the Harry Potter series to my brother and me, and I loved it so much that I began reading it on my own. Yet, as I grew older, I fell out of love with reading, prioritizing what I thought was "cool" instead.
Reflecting back, I realize the importance of reading. To paraphrase Gandalf, “Read, you fool.” I eventually rediscovered my love for books in college, but only after experiencing the embarrassment of not having read enough. Now, I devour books everywhere—during walks, car rides, and even while doing chores.
Countless individuals have dedicated their lives to creating art and sharing knowledge. All that’s needed from you is to minimize distractions. Consider exploring the research on the impact of the internet and social media on your brain.
And don’t forget to play! Though you love soccer, remember it’s just a game. Enjoy every moment of it. All your imaginative games and adventures are valuable. People will eventually urge you to stop acting like a child and grow up. Resist that pressure. The world often tells boys to suppress their playful spirit, but play as much as you can—ideally, forever. Turn chores into fun activities and surround yourself with those who share your joy.
Chapter 2: Discovering Your Inner Strength
Throughout your life, influenced by media, music, and peers, you may adopt the belief that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. This misconception can hinder your personal growth unless you learn to break free from it. As long as you cling to this belief, you will confine yourself, missing out on what many refer to as your true potential.
In this realm of potential, you’ll discover freedom, connection, love, and yes—superpowers. If you feel the urge to cry, lean into that emotion. Your strength is just waiting to emerge. Fear is a natural response that signifies you are alive, navigating whether to confront or escape a challenge. At times, you’ll need to embrace your fears, and sharing them with trusted individuals will help you ascend the metaphorical mountain of life.
I wish I had learned about vulnerability sooner; it was a missing key in my life. With support and strong role models, I’ve experienced feelings that are hard to articulate—like the thrill of jumping from a plane, initially paralyzed by fear, yet soaring free afterward. It’s akin to discovering how to truly fly.
You are a boy, and despite what society may dictate, that’s perfectly fine. The real issue arises when you try to be someone you’re not. Don’t suppress your emotions, whether at a wake or during farewells. Don’t shy away from sharing your story because you feel inadequate. Embrace who you are—just as you were meant to be. Know that you are loved, no conditions attached.
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